Busted!

A well-known "player" was busted recently. Not busted by NBI. He was busted by his wife who found out about his extra-curricular activities. Word has it that he is trying to patch things with his wife. I am not optimistic about that---the stain of infidelity is a hard stain to wash off. His exploits were well-known---even well documented through pictures, forum posts, blog posts---in the internet community. He was known for his connections to escorts. He had supplied escorts to his friends. He had even fallen in love with one of the escorts. He would do his nefarious internet-surfing at home. I know that this is 20-20 hindsight but I had seen this coming.

It will be tough to bake your cake and eat it too. But for those who want a bit of challenge, here are a couple of tips:

Be mindful of the company you keep.

There are friends and then there are friends. One major source of information leakage is from the company you keep. Real friends are those where you have built a long-time relationship with. Real friends require trust. And trust is built over many years and sometimes it requires some sort of "bonding" experience. Those whom you meet in casual parties are hardly friends. They are colleagues or acquaintances.

The rule is so simple: you share your damning secrets with those whom you trust.

So if you are in a room of, say, a dozen people. Eleven are your close and trusted friends; one is someone that you have shared a bottle of beer. Should you go around flaunting your mistress to those dozen people? This is not a "majority rules" situation. This is not a "innocent-until-proven-guilty" scenario. Your situation is only as good as the weakest link. If the one guy squeals, then it doesn't matter if the other eleven back you up. You are toast.

Maintain a clear separation between your "real" identity and your alter-ego.

You should really consider creating a totally different persona---one with a different email address, a different birthday, a different name and address. Have a separate Whatever information that was created for that persona should not intersect with your real identity.

I guess it is pretty obvious that you shouldn't be using your real name as your user ID. Not even a derivative of your name. Not even something that can be remotely linked to you. If your name is Joseph, it is practically useless if your ID is J0s3f.

As a corollary to this, use different passwords. Especially if you share your email with your significant other. Yes, some people do share mailboxes with their wives. Some even share Facebook accounts. So if she knows your password in one account and she suspects that you have another account like sex_maniac at hotfilipinababes.com, all she has to do is try logging on with your password. Then you are toast.

Most sites also require some personal information to create an ID. Don't use real information. Don't give your phone number. Don't use your real birthday.

Cover your tracks.

It's amazing how much info is kept in your browser. The pages you have browsed are stored. URLs automatically pop-up when you start typing. You should make sure you erase your tracks.

Most browsers have a privacy option.

Apple's Safari has something called a "private browsing" option. Once enabled, the browser does not store any of your activities.

Firefox allows you to clear out all private data through the Preferences > Private option.

Sorry, I'm not an Internet Explorer user. It sucks anyway.

Everything in the net, stays in the net.

It's permanent. Once it is leaked, it will be damn impossible to retract. So think twice about providing personal information. And think thrice before uploading that sex video of yours, especially if one can readily recognize you.

And if you absolutely have to post that image of you boinking a lovely lady, scrutinize every little detail that can identify you. Aside from masking the face, pay attention to the watch you are wearing, the clothes hanging, your bag, that cellphone on the dresser, tell-tale marks on your body. Don't leave anything to chance.

Have your excuses and explanations ready.

One of the many tell-tale signs of tomfoolery is your appearance. After a long day at work, would your wife expect you to arrive with neatly-pressed clothes smelling as fresh as you smelled when you left home this morning? Better have that explanation ready.

And now, for something completely different . . .

I have one friend who has taken a different approach. He had come clean to his wife.

He admits everything.

His wife reasons that she is ok as long as he comes home to her and that he does not produce any illegitimate offsprings.

Definitely this approach is not for everyone. And I am also not too sure if this can be considered a flash of genius or a flash of utter stupidity, but I admit that it does relieve him of the stress and anxiety.

(Photo c/o Scott Beale/Laughing Squid)